Magnus and Alec have a baby
by The-perverted-fangirl
Summary: AU Magnus and Alec are regular humans and go to high school. They get assigned a project in which they must care for an artificial baby. Reviews are love. Malec.
1. Chapter 1

**Okay, so, no, I defiantly do NOT own these characters or this series. Except Mr. Johnson, he's mine. ...Not that I want him...**

__It was Monday morning and Magnus and Alec walked into their health class together, hand in hand. They had been together for over a year now, and even though they were the only opening gay people in their school, mostly everybody had gotten used to them by now.

They sat in their regular sets as class began. "Now, students, there have been new regulations put in place to warn teenagers of having children at such a young age. From this day, until the end of this month, you are all parents." The health teacher, Mr. Johnson, told them. The class looked at their teacher, confused.

"You will be put in pairs and first assigned a artificial stomach, which the girls will have to wear for the first week and not remove until the week is over. Then, you will be assigned a baby to care for." Mr. Johnson elaborated. He then pulled a large cardboard box out from underneath his desk, which was filled with fake pregnant bellies.

"Now, go find yourself a partner. Choose whoever you like, gender doesn't matter." He directed that last part towards Magnus and Alec.

"So, who's gonna wear the belly?" Alec asked Magnus as Mr. Johnson began handing out the fake bellies.

"You, obviously. You're the girl in this relationship." Magnus grinned. Alec glared.

After Mr. Johnson had finished handing out the bellies and everyone had put them on, he told everyone that they had to go home today, wearing the bellies, and tell their parents they where pregnant.

"Oh joy." Magnus whispered to Alec, he wasn't fond of Maryse Lightwood.

After Mr. Johnson went over a few more things about their assignment with the class, the bell rang.

Magnus and Alec walked down the hallway towards the cafeteria, and received quite a few looks, because Alec now appeared to be nine months pregnant.

They sat down at one of the tables after buying their lunch.

"So." Magnus said, "What should we name our kid?"

"Hmm... how about Gabriel?"

"Like the archangel? I was thinking something like Magnus junior, but that could work." Magnus replied, while inspecting his black and neon green nails.

The rest of the day passed quickly and Alec and Magnus headed to Alec's house to inform Alec's parents on Alec's "pregnancy". They had told Maryse and Robert Lightwood that they had to talk. Everyone was sat down in the living room, Alec was holding Magnus's hand when he said "Mom, dad, I'm pregnant." He stood up to show off his new pregnant belly.

Alec watched as his parent's expressions turned from shock to anger to confusion.

"What? But your...Oh, this is a joke, right?" Robert asked.

"School assignment actually." Said Magnus. "Anyway Alexander, shall we go shop for baby clothes?"

Alec looked surprised. "...Sure, Magnus."

"Great!" Magnus smiled, which seemed to dazzle Alec a bit." Let's go!"

**There we go! First chapter is up!**

**So, are you guys enjoying this? Should I continue?**


	2. Chapter 2

**Once again, these aren't my characters, nor is it my series.**

The couple went to quite a lot of stores as Magnus picked out tons and tons of brightly coloured baby clothes, toys, diapers, blankets, and anything else that they could possibly need.

"Ugh, my back hurts _so_ bad." Alec winced as he rubbed his back. "This this is like, twenty pounds."

"When we go back to my apartment, I'll give you a good back massage." Magnus said, and kissed him on the cheek, before putting a mountain of baby clothes on the counter. "We'd like to buy this."

"Uh, okay." Said a very confused looking employee, who kept looking from Alec's stomach, to his very flat chest as she was checking the prices of the items.

Alec and Magnus entered Magnus's messy apartment. There was random clothes lying around all over the place, along with text books and homework that was due weeks ago. Chairman Meow was sleeping on top of the refrigerator.

"Let's set up the baby's room!" Magnus said, with way too much enthusiasm.

They began to decorate the laundry room, which was now the nursery as well. The walls where painted a bright blue, they set up a crib filled with plush toys and a Winnie The Pooh blanket and a dresser filled with baby clothes and diapers with Bert and Ernie on them. They then proceeded to Magnus's bedroom to have a bit of "fun".

Magnus pulled off Alec's shirt and laughed at the fake stomach attached to it. He reached for the straps on the back of it when Alec said "Wait- Mr. Johnson said we had to keep it on at all times."

"Alexander, honey, do you really want to do this while wearing an artificial stomach? Magnus asked, slightly amused.

"That's true." Alec agreed. Magnus threw the belly on the floor and pinned Alec down on the bed while simultaneously unbuttoning his pants.  
>On top of the refridgorator, a few moments later, Chairman Meow looked at the door to Magnus's room curiously, wondering why there was so much shouting coming from behind it.<p>

**I'm really sorry for the short chapter! But I already have the next few chapters written. Review's are a wonderful confidence booster, so if you could please post a review, it would motivate me to write more, and post the chapters sooner. :3**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: Not mine, not mine not mine!**

A week had passed and it was health class on Monday, once again.

"Okay ladies... and Alec. You may now remove your artificial stomachs." Instructed Mr. Johnson.

Alec let out a sigh of happiness as he removed the stomach. He had kept it on all week, expect for showers and sex with Magnus. "It feels so nice to have this off for good."

"Now, you will all be assigned infants." Mr. Johnson said, and started handing out babies. They were wearing just plan diapers and where each placed in a carrier.

"Hello, Gabriel." Magnus said to the toy, picking him up and holding him in his arms.

Mr. Johnson also handed out metal wrist bands that everyone had to wear. "These wrist band will connect with the baby whenever you take care of it, so that _you_ took care of your baby, and not your parents." Explained Mr. Johnson. "They cannot be removed until I open then with this key" He then held up a shiny silver key.

Mr. Johnson went over a few more things and then the bell rang.

"What's wrong with it?" Magnus looked shocked, as if it had never dawned on him the the baby would be anything other than something Magnus could dress up in fancy clothes.

"He probably just wants his bottle or something, Magnus. Don't have a heart attack." Alec said, pulling a fake bottle that Mr. Johnson had given him and putting it to the babies mouth. After a moment, it stopped crying.

The rest of the afternoon passed and they went back to Magnus's apartment. The couple where sat down on the couch watching TV. Chairman Meow was curled up on Alec's lap and Magnus was holding Gabriel.

It was quite, except for the TV until Magnus shouted "IT PISSED ITSELF!" He jumped up and held the baby towards Alec, as if it was poisonous. "I didn't think it would actually piss itself!" Water was dripping down Magnus's shirt.

"Well, go on and change his diaper." Alec told his lover, looking very amused.

"But...how?" Magnus looked very confused.

"In all your life, you've never changed a diaper?"

" Alexander, dear, I'm an eighteen year old boy, not a babysitter." Said Magnus. Alec sighed and began showing Magnus how to change a diaper.

Alec had decided to move in with Magnus, for the month that they had their baby at least. Somehow, Alec had persuaded his parents to agree to this, but they couldn't really keep him from doing it. He was eighteen, officially an adult, but Alec still liked to have his parents approval.

Thus began their lives together.

**There we go, chapter three :D  
>Remember: Reviews are love and they motivate me to write. :3<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

A few days after the couple where giving their baby, Magnus decided to spend some quality time with his "son" by bringing him to the local pool along with Alec.

"I'm not sure this is really the best idea, Mag..." Alec said as a pushed the stroller down the sidewalk towards the pool.

"The baby is made of plastic and metal. Completely waterproof, Mr. Johnson said so. It'll be fine Alexander."

"Won't it be a little awkward though?" Asked Alec. "I mean, two guys in the baby pool together, with a fake baby? I mean, they might kick us out..."

"Alexander!" Magnus said, making a 180 degree turn, placing his hands on Alec's shoulders and looking him straight in the eye. "Our baby _needs_ this! It's a learning experience! We should be teaching him to swim while he's still young, heck, when I was his age, I was able to do the breaststroke perfectly, and he hasn't even been swimming before!"

"Magnus... you know he's not really a baby, right?" Alec looked concerned.

"Nonsense!" Magnus walked briskly ahead of Alec, finally entering the pool. He payed for him, Alec and his "son" as he told the lady at the front desk. They all entered the changing room, Alec, wearing plain black trunks, Magnus wearing rainbow trunks. Alec sighed when he saw what Magnus was wearing, he was just releaved it wasn't a speedo, like Magnus had worn to the beach once. It was a very awkward experience, in Alec's opinion, Magnus seemed to disagree.

The two walked out into the swimming area, and into the baby pool which was only about two feet deep. One girl, around the age of four, took one look at Magnus's glittery magnificence and ran away.

"Mag, I think you're scaring the children..." Said Alec.

"At bit of trauma will do them good." Magnus looked at the kids splashing and playing in the water with disgust. "I hate children."

Alec faced palmed.

"Ugh." Alec said, "I hate public pools. Can you imagine how many kids have peed in this?"

"There are filters in the pool, it get's cleaned out." Magnus explained.

"I don't care, it's still full of pee! And sense we're in the baby pool the percentage of pee goes up by like, fifty percent." Alec was really beginning to gross himself out by now, so he sat on the edge of the pool, lifting his body out of the water.

"Hey Alec, can I take Gabriel on the slide?" Magnus pointed eagerly towards a long tube looping down into one of the deeper pools.

"Um, well, I suppose, if they'll let you. Frankly, I'm surprised they even let us bring him into the pool in the first place."

"Yay! Thanks Alexander, I love you Alexander!" Magnus said before rushing towards the slide. Alec stood up and walked towards the area where the slide ending, waiting for Magnus and Gabriel to come out of it. After a few minutes, they did. Magnus was screaming, holding onto Gabriel for dear life. He splashed into the water, and sunk under for a moment. Magnus came up gasping, his make up smeared and his once spiky hair dripping and glued to his face. He climbed up the latter attached to the side of the pool and eminently began complaining about his make up and hair.

"Magnus, where is Gabriel?" Alec said cautiously.

"Gabriel?..." Magnus looked down at the hand that once held the plastic baby. "GABRIEL! AHHH! SOMEBODY SAVE MY BABY!" About half the pool was staring at the couple.

" Just swim down and get him." Alec had now stood up and was staring down into the depths of the pool, there, resting at the bottom, was their son.

"But I don't know how to swim!" Magnus was flipping out.

"Don't know how to swim? Magnus, you told me you where able to do the breaststroke perfectly as an infant! Of course you can swim." Alec reassured.

"Not anymore." Magnus looked off to the side and nothing in particular. "It was the day of the swimming contest, I was ten years old and I knew I was going to win! But just as I was about to finish my last lap and win my one hundredth swimming trophy, my speedo slipped off and thousands of people saw my... It was humiliating! I vowed never to swim again after that day!" Magnus said. Now just about everybody in the pool was staring at them.

"Well then why did you want to come swimming?" Alec asked.

" I explained before. I want our son to enjoy the magnificence of swimming." Magnus said solemnly.

"Magnus! He's a friggen toy!" Alec practically shouted.

"None of that matters anymore, my love, just save my baby... do it for me!" Magnus looked up at Alec with tear filled eyes. Alec smacked his hand on his forehead again and dove in to save Gabriel.

After surfacing from the pool, Gabriel in his hand, one of the life guards walked over and asked them to kindly leave the building because they were "disturbing the peace." 


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing!**

Alec was sleeping peacefully in Magnus's strong arms, dreaming some peaceful and pleasant dream about him and Magnus having a picnic. In his dream, he and Magnus where lying down on the picnic blanket very much like they were now, on Magnus's queen sized bed.  
>Everything was so tranquil, it was slightly breezy, but the wind was nice and warm, it was sunny, but they where shaded my a large willow tree. Then, out of nowhere, a baby began crawling towards them, it's blue eyes bright and curious. The baby crawled up to them, and sat down at the edge of the picnik blanket, before letting out a loud, high pitched cry.<p>

Alec rubbed his eyes and stared at the alarm clock. It read: 3:04 AM. Alec sighed, this was the third night in a row that the "baby" had woken him up. He sat up and pulled on his boxers, pressing his bare feet against the cold, hard wood floor. A chill shot up though him and his teeth began to chatter, he grabbed the comforter off the bed and wrapped it around his body to protect himself from the cold. Magnus made a quite moan of protest but simply pulled the remaining blankets around him tighter.

Alec stepped into the laundry room/nursery. "Want do you want now?" He said, then let out a loud yawn.

The baby continued to cry loudly and Alec picked him up in his arms and rocked the doll, but it still continued to cry, so Alec reached into the baby bag that was on the floor next to the crib and hauled out a bottle.

After a good hour and a half, the baby finally went to sleep. Alec crawled back into bed and glanced at the clock. 4:39AM. Alec sighed, he had to get up in a couple of hours. The baby sure had been cutting into his sleep. He was envious of Magnus, who would be able to sleep if everything was burning down around him.

Just as Alec was about dozing off, about to get two more hours of sleep, the baby began crying again. Alec let out an exasperated moan and buried his face into Magnus's chest, before crawling out of bed once again, and tended to the baby.

**Short chapter, but whatever. I actually have to whole story completely by now. Perhaps your lovely **_**reviews**_** will motivate me to post a chapter sooner? ;D**


	6. Chapter 6

**Hi folks, just wanted to mention that I own none of this.**  
>"MAGNUS!" Alec screamed at him. Magnus was sat down on the loveseat, reading the new issue of Seventeen. Alec felt like he was going to explode. There was a crying, hungry baby with a wet diaper in is right hand. In his left, he was holding Chairman Meow by the scruff of his neck. The kettle had just gone off and it screeched throughout the small apartment. There was a tall stack of assignments for various courses that Alec had to complete by the next day. Dirty dishes covered the kitchen counter and Chairman Meow had just when on a rampage and had managed to knock over his water, food and kitty litter. He had also managed to pee in Alec's shoe (Alec, of course, did on realize that until he had put the shoe on.<p>

"Yes, honey?" Magnus looked up at him with big, innocent eyes.

"Could you take the baby? I have enough to do already without worrying about him. Alec laid Gabriel down next to Magnus and began putting the dirty dishing into the dishwasher.

"Hey, Alexander, could you take him for a second, I'm reading this really important article about how coffee can make you're hair shinier and-" A mug collided with Magnus's head.

"Christ on a bike, what was that for?" Magnus said, looking generally confused.

Alec looked as if he was about to cry. Instead, he charged toward Magnus and began repeating slamming his fists against Magnus's arm.

"Ugh! Why are you so stupid! Can't you see I'm busy! Is your magazine so important that you cannot even spare a moment to help me out a bit? The only thing you've done since we had this baby was get us kicked out of a public pool! You havn't even changed a diaper!" Alec had teared up by now. He stood up and turned away from Magnus, probably because he didn't want Magnus to see him cry. He walked back into the kitchen, and began stacking the dishes into the dishwasher again.

Magnus, finally realizing his mistake, walked up behind Alec and wrapped his arms around the shorter boy. Alec tried to escape but Magnus had a tight grip.

"I'm really sorry." He whispered sincerely into his lover's ear, making Alec moan softly. "I really am."

Magnus turned Alec around so that they where facing, but Alec diverted his eyes towards the floor.

"I think you should go take a nap." Suggested Magnus.

"But Magnus!" Alec looked up at him, lightly angered. "I don't have time! I have dished to do, and homework and the baby and-" He was cut off by Magnus.

"Shh..." Magnus said, placing his pointer finger against Alec's lips, vertically. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it all done. Now you go in the bedroom and get some rest." He then wrapped his arms around Alec's legs and picked him up bridal style, carrying him into the bedroom, pulling off Alec's jeans and Placing his boyfriend in their bed.

"You realize that if when I wake up, and everything is still in a mess, it's just going to make things worst, right?" Alec asked Magnus.

"Don't you worry about it." Said magnus and he turned and left the room, turning off the lights and closing the door as he left. Alec lid his head down onto the pillow and drifted off to sleep.

A few hours later, Alec woke up. He crawled out of bed and walked into the living room, not bothering to put pants on, merely wearing his boxers. (Which had property of Magnus written on the ass. They were a birthday gift from Magnus.) Magnus was asleep on the couch, a Seventeen magazine on his face, (Alec assumed he had fallen asleep reading it.) Chairman Meow was asleep on the glittery boy's stomach, Everything was clean. All the dishes had been washed, and placed back into the cupboard, Chairman Meow's mess was cleaned up, Gabriel was apparently asleep in his crib, Alec's shoes were in the washer and hell, even Alec's homework was completed.

Alec crept over to Magnus, crawled on top if the larger man, lowered his face so that their noses were touching and shouted "BOO!"

Magnus's eyes flew open and he let out a soft scream. "Oh my Jesus, Alexander, don't friggen scare me like that!" He said, trying to sit up, but Alec had him pinned down onto the couch.

Alec ignored what Magnus had said." So, I'm the girl in this relationship, huh?"

Magnus smirked "Would you like to prove me wrong?"

"I would, actually." Said Alec, as he began kissing Magnus's neck, causing Magnus to moan softly.  
><strong>Well there's that chapter. Review if you want more. I'll go take a nap. Sorry if anything got messed up, I'm a little drunk. :3<strong>


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: All these characters (Well, most) belong to Cassandra Clare, not me!**

"Mr. Bane!"

Magnus opened his eyes, confused. Where was he? He had thought he was asleep in his big, warm bed, but he was a bit cold and whatever he was resting he head on was the complete opposite of a warm and cozy bed. He opened his eyes. School. That's where he was. Geography class, to be precise.

He sighed. "Yes, Mr. Smith?" He heard something loud and annoying but was too tired to figure out what it was.

"Your baby is crying." So that's what the nose was.

"Oh." He took Gabriel out of the carrier that was located at the foot of his desk and began giving him his bottle. Alec and Magnus couldn't leave the toy at Alec's house, because no one was allowed to care for it besides Alec or Magnus, so to every teacher in the school's dismay, the students of Mr. Johnson's health class had to bring their assignments to school with them.

Gabriel, wouldn't stop crying. Magnus felt his diaper, but it was completely dry. Magnus gently rocked him back and forth but the crying persisted.

"Perhaps you should leave the classroom momentarily?" Mr. Smith suggested.

"Sure." Magnus bundled up his things and carried the baby outside the classroom with him. He tried to get the baby to stop crying for about ten minutes before signing and walking over to an open window to get some air.

He placed Gabriel on the window sell and just listened to the crying which echoed though the hallway. He sat there for a moment, when one of the classroom doors opened. Out stepped the biggest bitch in the school. Mrs. White. She was about one hundred and fifty years old (or at least looked it) and basically everyone hated her. She shouted at you for the most unreasonable things (such as breathing too loudly) and smelt like mothballs.

"Mr. Bane." She said, her voice had a tone that made Magnus want to shove glass in his eyes.

"Yes?"

"What are going doing in the hallway?" Said Mrs. White.

"Um, the baby wouldn't-"

She cut him off. "Get to class before I give you detention."

"Yes, Mrs. White." Said Magnus, shooting her a glare.

He grabbed the bag filled with diapers and bottles, and swung it over his shoulder. The bag hit Gabriel, knocking him out the window and down the two story drop to the hard concrete at the bottom. Magnus heard a crash and peered out the window to see Gabriel broken into pieces.

"Oh FUCK! God FUCKING dammit!" Magnus shouted.

He ran down the hallway towards the flight of stairs, just catching Mrs. Smith telling him that he had detention for the next week.

Magnus rain down the stairs and out the front door or the building, running over to his baby. It's head was split into three pieces. " Alexander is going to kill me!" He said as he gathered up the pieces of his baby and placed them in the bag. He walked back to his classroom in shame. There was only five minutes left to class when he returned.

"Where's your baby, Mr. Bane? Asked Mr. Smith with general curiosity.

Magnus pulled half a baby head out of his bag. "It fell out the window."

The class erupted in laughter.

x x x

It was recess time and the couple were sitting in a corner of the cafeteria.

"Alexander, we need to talk." Said Magnus, solemnly. His bag full of doll parts rested next to him.

Magnus was worried. He didn't want his beloved Alexander to be mad at him and Magnus knew he would be. He had just killed their baby for Gods sake! They were going to fail the assignment and Magnus knew how Alec felt about getting bad grades. He was always trying to please his parents, probably trying to make up for the fact that he was gay. Alec had never failed anything in his life. This was going to be bad.

Alec's face paled. "W-what about, Magnus?"

"...I killed our baby." Magnus said, looking at floor in shame.

"Wait, what?" Alec looked genuinely confused.

Magnus pulled one of the pieces of Gabriel's head out from the bag. "I um, accidentally dropped him out a window."

Alec just stared at him in shock. "Um..." Was all he said before bursting out into hysterical laughter.

x x x

"Mr. Lightwood and Mr. Bane?" Said Mr. Johnson, on the day their assignment was due.

"Yes." They said in union.

"Where is the baby you where assigned?"

"We sort of... killed it. Explained Alec as Magnus placed the carrier that was holding the broken doll on Mr. Johnson's desk.

"You both fail for not being able to keep your assignment in one piece." Mr. Johnson looked irritated. " And I'd advise you two to never adopt children."

**And that is the last chapter. :3  
>Reviews make me happy.<strong>


End file.
